Black and Gold
by live4dance
Summary: What if Peeta came back without Katniss? Short and sad. Songfic. Oneshot.


**Hello! I wrote on this site about a year ago (different user) and long story short, stopped and am now back. This is if Peeta came back to District 12 and Katniss died in the Games. Obviously AU and no Catching Fire. The song is "Black and Gold" by Sam Sparro. One of my favorites and i recommend it. It's not as sad as I made it. **

_"If the fish swam out of the ocean _

_And grew legs and they started walking"_

I sat here at this pond. I had oftened spied on her here. She used to come her with her dad. Always. She rarely came after he died though. I was always jealous at how well he knew her. Stupid of course to be jealous of a girl's father. But I was jealous of anyone who knew her. I stared down at the few fish wandering about the pond The fish had it so easy. They just swam. And swam. Never having to think about girls. Ever. Never really having to think about anyone. Or anything. How could they miss anyone? They had no human emotions.

_"And the apes climbed down from the trees _

_And grew tall and they started talking"_

I watched all around almost sensing her. All that was around me made me think of her. I heard a rustling in the distance and could only help but think about the mutts that drove her to her death. The Gamemakers were intelligent. They probably knew all about her love for her sister. Her best friend. Her dearly departed father. They probably knew she would do anything to save them. An animal with their voices screaming for help was perfect. Perfect! How could she resist?

_"And the stars feel out of the sky"_

She ran. I didn't know you could run so fast. I was calling her name. Tried to convince her it was a trick. She just kept running. Running to her doom. I kept calling. Because her doom was mine as well. Her doom lead consequently to mine. It felt like the world was ending her watching her run. Everything was going to end.

_"And my tears rolled into the ocean" _

I heard her scream. I started running. But that was the only scream. Next came the cannon. I kept sprinting. She, and the mutts, were gone before I got there. I watched the hovercraft leave. The Capital got what they wanted out of it. I broke down. I dropped and cryed, not caring if anyone heard. I'm sure it would leave the Capital heartbroken though if both of their precious star-crossed lovers died.

_"And I'm looking for a reason why You even set my world into motion" _

What made me love her so much anyways? Why did she have to be the one. Anyone else would still be here. Why the one I can't have? Why is life such a tragedy? I love her. I know that. But I need to know why her?

_"'Cause if you're not really here Then the stars don't even matter" _

I can't live without her. I knew it then. I know it now. She was my life from the first moment I set eyes on her. Those few days we were together in the arena were magical. Nothing mattered without her being here to share it.

_"And I'm filled to the top with fear That it's all just a bunch of matter"_

Besides was it even real? Haymitch could've easily told her to fake it. It certainly got sponsers. Especially after she died. How will I ever know now? I probably don't even want to.

_"'Cause if you're not really here Then I don't wanna be either" _

She's gone. Forever. What do I have left without here? I have nothing left to live for.

_"I wanna be next to you" _

I need to feel her by my side again. So badly. I need to be next to her. To see her. Pictures meant nothing. I needed her! So badly.

_"I look up into the night sky And see a thousand eyes staring back" _

I finally stopped crying. I have no idea how long I cried. All I know is that it was night when I stopped. For all I know I cried for a decade. But those stars twinkled down on me when I finally opened my eyes to world.

_"And all around these golden beakons I see nothing but black" _

All around them however was black. Mourning, miserable black. Black that made me want to cry more. To hide until the end. I had nothing to fight for.

_"I feel a weight of something beyond them I don't see what I can feel"_

But I did. She was up there. Watching. I needed to fight. To avenge her. I felt a sweet taste of revenge. I plowed through competors after that. Humanity seemingly gone. I turned into a cold-blooded murderer.

_"But if vision is the only validation Then most of my life isn't real" _

Little did everyone know I only did it, all of it, to avenge her. I thought maybe then I'd be able to live with myself. I was wrong. Living gave me constant reminders of her. I was forced, even, to watch a replay of her death.

_"'Cause if you're not really here Then the stars don't even matter" _

Nothing matters anymore. That's why I'm here. What's life worth without her anyways?

_"Now I'm filled to the top with fear That it's all just a bunch of matter"_

Can I really do this though? Will it hurt? Of course. But then I'll be with her again...

_"'Cause if you're not really here Then I don't want to be either" _

I can't live without her. It'd be too hard. I'm sure my parents will get over it. I was never their favorite anyways. I didn't have any close friends to worry about.

_"I wanna be next to you" _

I held up her weapon of choice, an arrow. I love you Katniss Everdeen. I need to be with you again. With that thought I plunged the arrow into my heart.

**Hope you liked it! Please review! **

**3 live4dance**


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